What do I do?

Kurt_ · Post by **Kurt_** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 4:34 pm

Sparing you all the details, I'm depressed. Really depressed. I don't feel like doing anything. Even if I did, I don't have anything to do. From the time I come home, from the time I go to sleep, I have nothing to do but a bit of exercise and dinner.

I don't like electronics anymore. They frustrate me, and add un-needed stress (you all know about that, I'm sure). I can't drive, don't have a girlfriend, and stayed back a year in Highschool, so everyone I used to know is gone, and everyone who's here I don't hang out with on weekends. I'm not sure how to get into the circle.

So, what do you guys do? What should I do that will make me happy again. What should I do that will occupy my time?

I'm at a horrible point in my life right now, but unloading it on you guys would be kind of weird, seeing as I don't know any of you. What's something that's easy to do, lasts a long time, and doesn't involve sitting in my basement in front of the computer all day.

(I live in Canada, so outside is really cold right now, I'd like to avoid that place for now)

Question #2: Where to meet people? I've already met all the girls I'm going to in High School, and come February, I'll be working until at least August, and I doubt I'll meet many people there. The next place that I will meet new friends will be University, in September, and I don't think I can wait that long. So, other than online (50 year old fat, balding men posing as young girls is not my idea of a good friend), where can I find people that I can talk to long enough to begin a friendship or the likes?

Question #3: Coping with loss. How do you guys do it?

jeroen · Post by **jeroen** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 4:47 pm

Pretty much exactly the same problem here. Can't really tell ya what to do about it. Cause I stil havn't figured it out meself. Just try to go on? (btw the forum break really sparked my electronics again, just needed a break I suggest you do the same)

Post by **Triton** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 4:57 pm

have you tried antidepressants? i never have but a friend of mine took em and they helped him a lot. as for the rest i just deal with it, usually keep that stuff to myself till the depression and whatever goes away, talkin to someone about it does help a lot. and about dealing with loss, its hard to i know (ive had one close family friend die, my grandmother and now my uncle has been diagnosed with cancer and we dont know what kind or how long he has but he is gonna fight it) in situations like that being with family and friends is important

sgtpepper · Post by **sgtpepper** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 5:02 pm

Just one thing from me-

Time doesn't heal wounds, music does. Learn to play an instrument, if you don't already know how to play one. Write your own music- not only is it time consuming, but in your position, it has the potential to be amazingly meaningful and passionate. Some of the greatest music in the world in written by the people who have hardships in life, and then turn it into beautiful music. Ray Charles, Johnny Cash, John Lennon, and so many others. You could very well be another.

Valium · Post by **Valium** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 5:07 pm

First, stop doing things that you do at home, uninstall games from the computer, put away your consoles, only use the computer for bare minimum, things like the internet and instant messengers. Do this step slowly.

Any chance you get to leave the house, whether good or bad, work or fun, take it. You'll start hating being home before you know it. I suggest a sports team or joining a gym.

Once you've made it this far, your personality will do a complete turn around, you won't be talking about games, electronics, blah blah blah anymore, maybe you'll be a funny guy, maybe a cool guy, who knows. You'll be a lot more interesting to be around, people will like you. Once you've got that, you'll be more enjoyable, people will want to be friends outside of school, girls will too.

Post by **Skyone** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 5:29 pm

Valium wrote:Once you've made it this far, your personality will do a complete turn around, you won't be talking about games, electronics, blah blah blah anymore, maybe you'll be a funny guy, maybe a cool guy, who knows. You'll be a lot more interesting to be around, people will like you. Once you've got that, you'll be more enjoyable, people will want to be friends outside of school, girls will too.

Honestly, you cannot act like electronics and gaming are drugs. They're great hobbies that can sometimes be frustrating, yes; but they rescued me from a time of depression.

Also I think Kurt is already a cool and funny guy. Sometimes a complete change is necessary, yes, but I'd hate to never see him again.

Anyways, just seek out a hobby you've always taken interest to. Generally I think that creating is often a good way to express yourself and show yourself what you're made of. Cooking, programming, sculpting, painting, (electronics) and music are all good ways to do this. Just some suggestions.

Also, if you consider yourself very depressed, do what Triton says and get a prescription for some anti-depressants.

Finally, coping with loss is always over-bearing, but everyone must deal with it. I'm not sure exactly what you lost; but if it's a death of someone you cared about, there's nothing else to accept than that you will eventually get over it.

Good luck!

EDIT: Forgot about your meeting people passage. To be honest, some of my best friends are here on this forum. You meet people everywhere, but it truly is awesome to meet people that are interested in the same things that you are, or that are simply as smart as you. I meet a lot of cool people at school, and I have a bundle of friends from there, but there's only one out of them that I can really relate to.

Sir Games-A-Lot · Post by **Sir Games-A-Lot** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 5:58 pm

Being home schooled since 1st grade (not any more, needed math help my parents couldn't provide), I've been in the same position more than once, and in many ways am now since I'm a stranger at a new school.

So, what do you guys do? What should I do that will make me happy again. What should I do that will occupy my time?

I'm at a horrible point in my life right now, but unloading it on you guys would be kind of weird, seeing as I don't know any of you. What's something that's easy to do, lasts a long time, and doesn't involve sitting in my basement in front of the computer all day.

For me, as plain out weird as it may sound, it's building things out of LEGO bricks. For some one with zero artistic ability like me, it provides a creative outlet, and it's just really neat be able to make order out of piles of chaos. Is it a little offbeat for a 17 Y/O, absolutely, but not much more than anything else I do so that's OK. If you can get over that, it's something I'd call highly therapeutic.

With you 110% on this one Kurt_, life can really suck at times.

ShockSlayer · Post by **ShockSlayer** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:01 pm

I agree with Skyone and sgtpepper

Do something, or start something(like a project) that you can be proud of for the rest of your life. Try to find a religion?

SS

EDIT: As far as coping with loss: I get used to it. Bad things happen. My religion keeps me sane sometimes.

benol · Post by **benol** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:16 pm

SCUICIDE!!!

Just kidding. Don't do that.

Maybe you should go to a doctor and get medicine. It works wonders to take Welbutrin when you have depression.

Kurt_ · Post by **Kurt_** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:28 pm

I'm not going to go on anti-depressants. I don't think I'm that bad. Drugging myself won't help me with this kind of thing in the future. Perhaps a herbal anti-depressant (Chamomile, etc.) with no negative effects should be considered.

I didn't lose anyone through death, although it might have been easier that way. I got dumped a while ago, she has been living in a different city since September, and is doing Co-op at a security firm. The jocks over there changed her. She's drinking lots, going to bars (illegally, mind you, she's still underage) to meet guys, she's stretching her earlobes, starting to swear...and she doesn't want someone like me holding her back. I worry. I still do. It's hard loving someone and not having them love you back. I kind of stepped out of denial today when she told me she's starting to see other people (at the aforementioned bars...people who are significantly older than her...). But that's none of your concern.

I know it seems really emo to be so depressed about it, but truthfully, this is the first true loss I've ever experienced, and it hits home hard. Hell, even my great grandmas are still kicking it old-school in their 90's. My dog's still alive, and I've never truly loved anyone before her.

As for music, I'm working on a metroid Ridley remix (10/16 timing, woot!). I'm too depressed to work on it lately. And I never have successfully finished any song I started.

No way in hell I'm giving up msn. It's basically my social life. I'm quite energetic (maybe it's to mask my feelings, I don't know), and tend to come off as a weird, sketchy person in real life. This is me under my shell, not many see this side of me, to be honest.

Hobbies. What hobbies? Suggestions?

I gave up religion a while ago. Sure, I go to a Catholic school, but truthfully I only believe in God as a symbol to represent our lack of understanding of what started the start. He's never helped me. I used to pray, to no avail.

Suicide = no. It's not worth killing myself over, I'm sure I'll meet people at University, but that's 10 months away.

Thanks guys.

Post by **CronoTriggerfan** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:37 pm

Reading this thread, I thought it was my own from a while back. I felt that way, too, for about a year. This summer, the slump peaked, and I just got really depressed, lazy, and life felt monotonous. So I tried out for the tennis team.

Kept me busy, made a lot of friends, and now, I'm still playing indoors and getting really good, too!

My point is, do something. If that something is a school sport, high school play (or MUSICAL

), or taking up an instrument, go for it. Hell, FORCE yourself to do something. It'll get you back into the swing of things, so to speak.

I find sometimes it's best just to set goals for myself. Last year it was to get the lead role in a musical, next year it's to be becoming captain of my tennis team, and right now, it's to be top in my class in AP Government. Long-term, it's to get into University of Michigan and get a law degree. Sometimes just thinking about goals and striving for them help you out.

Do you have a pet? I know Sky can vouch for me when I say you should get one if you don't. Dogs are great, but even if you have one, it's fun to keep a small animal that can stay in your room or something. I've got a rat, she keeps me company when I'm doing something lame like homework or just down in the dumps. Sounds nuts, but if you haven't tried it, do! Rats and hamsters are cheap, easy to care for, and are nice and fluffy. Mmmm, fluffy.

Also, how old are you? Are you college-bound?

CTFan

gamemasterAS · Post by **gamemasterAS** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:46 pm

At one time or another I think all of us has been closed off from the rest of the "Normal" people simply just because we think different then other people. I mean things that most people find very entertaining don't interest us and most of us cant seem to find friends that do the same thing.

One thing you can do might sound weird or it might just be me this seems to work for is just start talking to every random person you ever meet, make people laugh and be exactly who you feel like being. This earns respect from some people and usually a few friends. Honestly I am one of the weirdest people I think I will ever know, I do the lamest things, I even play Nerf. I mean I started a halo 2 version of zombies in my high school in the hall ways. Just try and make good friends with at least 1 or 2 people, and there groups will get to know you when you hang out with that person and you will make good friends from there.

Last year I had 1 very good freind that went to another school and one good freind at my school. Then I went to High School and was at the same school with both of my good friends, and even though I had them in none of my classes I made friends with the groups they seemed to mingle with and now I am hanging out with people all the time. Also a good girl to back you us and help you is always a good thing.

Also loss can be a real female of the dog species but after awhile you can get over it, I lost all belief in what used to be my own religion so I know how bad it can get.

Hope that helped at all.

Kurt_ · Post by **Kurt_** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:50 pm

18, and yes, next year, definitely. Last year my math marks were in the 60's, but retaking the courses I'm easily getting low 90's.

I forced myself to finally take driving lessons. I think it was almost an attempt to win her back. You know, driving a car and all. Those end in 2 more lessons, which is two more weeks, though. And it's once every week, which isn't a lot. And my instructor is allergic to dogs, so I feel bad when she started sniffling like mad when we're driving.

As for teams, there's nothing I'm interested in. A robotics team or some kind of engineering competition would be cool, but there's not many geeks locally. I'm a geek in a pool of nerds, you could say. I'm not too into making Calculus study sheets. I'll look, but I don't think I'll find much.

benol · Post by **benol** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:54 pm

Kurt_ wrote:18, and yes, next year, definitely. Last year my math marks were in the 60's, but retaking the courses I'm easily getting low 90's.

ME TOO!!!

A robotics team or some kind of engineering competition would be cool, but there's not many geeks locally. I'm a geek in a pool of nerds, you could say.

My school has one.

Mario · Post by **Mario** » Sun Nov 25, 2007 7:03 pm

Perhaps you're going through a small depression. Try spending more time with family, spend less time rotting you brains out on the computer.