funny sayings/jokes you guys have.

[DJ711]

Damn I don't have any G rated ones...

My friend once told me this, I thought it was funny


Friend: Two guys walk into a bar..
Me: What happens next?
Friend: Nothing you can prove!!

[palmertech]

I just remembered some funny things me and my friends do:

We often talk by using lyrics from Soulja Boy's "Crank it". We hate the song, but it makes it even more funny. Also, instead of saying "You" or "Do", we often say "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!" or "NOW WATCH ME DOOOOOOOOO".

The other silly thing we do is peruse the phrase from the original power rangers "Its morphin time!". For example, if someone says "Its time to go", we will all say, in that overacted voice in unison, "Its leavin time!", then proceed to play the terrible power rangers guitar solo on air guitars.

Shows the sanity level among us. Other than that, we are fairly normal.

[themadhacker]

All I really have is the "that's what she said" thing that I almost always say with my friends. I have a few others, but I would most likely get banned for saying them.

[eurddrue]

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!" or "NOW WATCH ME DOOOOOOOOO".

My name is drue (duh) and one of my friend's names is true, so whenever we see each other we say DRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE, or TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE then we proceed to hop back and forth with our arms up in the air we can't stand that song either

[palmertech]

I knew we were not the only people who did stuff like that.

[Biased]

I somehow got everyone in my school saying "You got Steved." It was an inside joke between me and my friends having to do with my dad always saying things that left you generally confused or feeling completely stupefied. If you want to know the whole story, read on, but generally that's all you need to know.

Story tiem!

When I was in high school, my dad (Steve) had this habit of blaming me for him looking stupid in front of my friends. It was also a long-withstanding joke with my friends that my parents acted quite ridiculously and quite often. Anyway...

Me and five of my friends were all hanging out at my house one night when my dad called us up from my room and the movie we were watching. He was trying to get his snowmobile into the garage and demanded that I watch him back up the trailer it was on into the garage and guide him so he didn't hit anything. I basically just stood there the whole time and made jokes about what would happen if the trailer had hit something explosive and killed everyone in the garage. Suddenly out of nowhere my dad gets out of his truck and starts yelling at me and pointing to the rubber side-flap of the garage door and exclaiming how the trailer had grazed it. Naturally, it was my fault (it really was but he made a big deal)

"I told you not to let it hit!" - My dad
"It didn't hit! It grazed." - me (my friends laughed because they knew what was coming)
"Well if that was your driver's test you would have failed!" - dad
"But I wasn't driving... you were." - me
"Well you would have been the kid who got his a** kicked for standing there!" (zing) - dad

By then, all of my friends were laughing uncontrollably. My friend Adam looked at me and coined the phrase, "You got Steved" and we used it for any situation in our lives that ended unfavorably.

Now you know, and knowledge is power!

[palmertech]

Be wary of posting stuff about your parents, especially faults. Someday, they WILL see it.

I would think about editing that.

[Biased]

It's okay. They know how kooky they can be sometimes. I'm a lot like my dad so I know he'd get over it if it upset him. I do now notice that I left some profanity in thar. Will change that lol.

[Axaj]

Your mom's face is an alcoholic stripper. 'Nuff said.

[samjc3]

Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: because it was dead.

Q: why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
A: monkey see, monkey do.

Q: why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
A: peer pressure.

[thewise1]

I got another one, say the punch line fast

What are the Mario bros pants made out of?

denim,denim,denim

[ShockSlayer]

I got another one, say the punch line fast

What are the Mario bros pants made out of?

denim,denim,denim

EPIC WIN!

SS

[Biased]

I got another one, say the punch line fast

What are the Mario bros pants made out of?

denim,denim,denim

EPIC WIN!

SS

my friend came up to me while we were at work and told me that joke. I instinctively thought it was stupid and punched him the arm, then I felt bad because it was funny.

[XCVG]

I got another one, say the punch line fast

What are the Mario bros pants made out of?

denim,denim,denim

I don't get it...

[bacteria]

A hen went into a library and (making a clucking noise that sounded like) "book" was given a book by the librarian. The next day the hen went back and said "book, "book" and the librarian gave two books over. The next day the hen said "book", "book," book", "book" and was given four books. The next day the librarian asked ho come the hen could read so quickly, the hen replied saying that back at the farm a frog is very sick and in bed; every time she gave the frog a book to help pass the time, the frog kept saying "read it", "read it", "read it".