what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Want to just shoot the breeze? Forum 42 is the place!

Moderator: Moderators

Post Reply
Snow_Cat
Posts: 463
Joined: Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:40 pm
Steam ID: Snow_Cat
Location: Here
Contact:

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by Snow_Cat » Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:08 pm

Well, it was in response to a riddle, I'll put it in a spoiler incase someone wants to try and figure it out first. Also it is long. The original exchange took the better part of an hour, but it was comedy gold.

Blonde (Bl): “You think you are Soo smart but you don’t know anything.”
Me: “Come again-.”
Bl: (interrupting) “I know you can’t answer this riddle, no body has answered it correctly.”
Me: “Can I -?”
Bl: (interrupting) “I bet ten dollars you can’t answer it in ten minutes, and twenty more that you can’t answer it at all.”
Me: (fishing lunch money out of pockets) “Okay, let me chec-”
Bl: (clutching at my money) “The Riddle is this:”
Bl: (forgetting the money) “There is an accident and a man and his boy are taken to hospital in critical condition. The man is dead, the boy taken to hospital. The emergency doctor is called in. The doctor meets the ambulance attendant. The doctor takes one look at the boy and turns to the attendant and says ‘I cannot operate on this boy, he is my son.’ The doctor then apologizes to the dead man.”
Bl: (very smugly) “How is this possible?”
Spoiler:
Me: “Locality, it would make sense that the doctor would be in-”
Bl: (interrupting, actually assume from now on that Bl is interrupting unless otherwise indicated) “Nope. The boy’s father is DEAD, were you not paying attention.”
Me: “Sorry, I missed that.”
Bl: (smugly) “No.”
Me: “The doctor is the boy’s mother?”
Bl: “Wrong!”
Me: “The doctor is mistaken?”
Bl: (offended) “No. Why would you think that. The Doctor has made no mistake You -”
Me: (interrupting) “I’m not accusing-”
Bl: “You are running out of time [Cat]!”
Me: “The doctor is also the boy’s ‘reverend’?”
Bl: “No the doctor is part of the boy’s family?”
Me: “But not the boy’s Mother?”
Bl: “The Doctor is not.”
Me: “The doctor is the boy’s father?”
Bl: “No.”
Me: “The crash victims were taken to another hospital?”
Bl: “No.”
Me: “These are not the crash victims the doctor is looking at?”
Bl: “No.”
[coming at it sideways]
Me: “The dead man was the boy’s biological father.”
Bl: “No, the doctor is not the boy’s father?”
Me: “I’m asking about the dead man. What was his relation to the boy?”
Bl: “You can’t ask that, it is cheating! [blah, blah, blah] His father, his real father.”
Me: “And the doctor is not mistaken.”
Bl: (very offended) “No. He- The Doctor IS NOT.”
Me: “The doctor is the boy’s mother.”
Bl: “WRONG!”
Me: “The doctor is the boy’s step father?”
Bl: “No”
Me: “The boy was adopted. This was...”
Bl: “The doctor and the dead are the boy’s parents. There was no adoption.”
Me: “The doctor is the boy’s divorced -”
Bl: (grabbing at my now empty hand) “No the Doctor is not divorced! You sexist. Give the money now, it is obvious you will never get it.”
Me: (backing away) “No, I still have time.”
[This is were my answers become a bit screwy, I don’t remember the exact ordering, but they do go quite further than the original riddle was intended to. And yes I did keep going back to the previous answers, that has been omitted for brevity.]
Me: “The doctor and the man were married?”
Bl: (sneering)“Are married.”
Me: “And the Doctor is not the boy’s mother.”
Bl: “No the doctor is not.”
Me: “So the doctor and the man both married the boy’s mother.”
Bl: “What?”
Me: “Bigamists - There was no divorce but they both married the boy’s mother.”
Bl: “No. Why would you think that- You’re damn sexist pig. Why-”
Me: (interupting) “Then they married each other?”
Bl: “Yes. A marriage is only between two people.”
Me: “Then the boy’s biological father was a widower, and married this doctor.”
Bl: “What does that have to do with any thing?”
Me: “I’m asking if the boy is from a previous marriage that ended with the mother’s death, and the man and the doctor married afterwards.”
Bl: (gears turning) “Well a woman has the right to remarry. But that doesn’t have to do with the problem.”
Me: (ignoring the miscopy) “So the doctor and the man married.”
Bl: “Yes, okay. And the doctor is?”

Me: (confidently) “Gay.”

Bl: “NO!” (more swearing) “A marriage is between a man and a woman.”
Me: “So the dead man is a transvestite?”
Bl: “NO!”
Me: “The Doctor?”
Bl: (glares) “No. The doctor is a doctor.”
Me: “Then the doctor is a widower, and married this man.”
Bl: (pause) “And?”
Me: “A mother?”.
Bl: “You Sexist poop egress! Give me the money if you aren’t going to try.”
Me: “I am trying. So the doctor was the boy’s parent from a previous marriage in which the mother died, who then married this man.”
Bl: “Why and how would a dead woman marry? You stui-”
Me: “So the Doctor is the boy’s mother!”
Bl: “No!” (more swearing)
Me: “Stop me when I get it.”
(While Bl is muttering “You don’t get it. Wrong!” repeatedly.)
Me: “The doctor is a sperm donor?”
Me: “The man was a sperm donor?”
Me: “The doctor is also a nun?”
Me: “Then is the doctor also a the mother-superior of a convent, and this is her hospital?”
Bl: (Angry) “No. No. No!”

Bl: (pressing a finger into my chest) "A woman. The answer is a woman! But you Didn't think of that did you! You sexist moron. You are so sexist it never occurred to you that a woman could be a doctor did it?* You dumb [slur] prick! You are so full of yourself thinking that you are smarter than me. But you are as sexist like all men. The woman is a doctor! That is how the boy is her son. A woman -!"
Me: (interrupting) “What-!”
Bl: “The Woman is a doctor.”
Bl: (increasingly condescending) “The boy-”
Bl: “is-”
Bl: “her son.”
Bl: “You f-ing sexist.”
Me: (striking her hand away from my body) "But you said that the doctor was not the boy’s mother!”
Bl: “Because she is not!”
Bl: (wistful)“A woman can be a Doctor, a Priest, a Fireman, Anything-”
Bl: (shouting) “Except for a racist [slur] s-it like you! Now hand my the money!”
-Pause-
Me: “So, your mother is not a woman?”
Bl: (enraged) "What kind of a stupid sexist answer is that? You F-ing SEXIST!"
Me: (while she is raging) “That a no?”

(About twenty minutes of the most hilarious ranting I have ever heard.)

Blonde’s best Friend (Fr): (Investigating the shouting and screaming.) Wait what did he say?
Fr: (some expert coaxing and soothing later) “Tell me what the riddle is, tell me what happened.”
Bl: {repeats the riddle} “And he couldn’t get the answer. He answered nonsense.”
Me: “I answered ‘a mother, she is the boy’s mother’ ”
Bl: “How dare you. She is not a motherf-er because she is a Doctor!”
Fr: (confused) “No he’s right.”
Me: “Doctors can be parents too.”
Bl: (swearing)
Me: “And then I asked if her mother was not a woman.”
Bl: (screaming) “Which is WRONG! The answer is ‘A woman!’
Fr: (confused) “No he’s right.”
(more hilarious shouting and screaming later)
Me: “I’m guessing the answer was no.”
Fr: (having trouble keeping a strait face) “Just go. I’ll deal with her.”
Me: (surprised that our classmates have gathered in the hallway) “So is anyone’s mother not a woman?**”
Bl: (chasing after me swinging madly shouts) “A woman!
Fr: (grabs Bl)
Spoiler:
*It is also worth mentioning that my mother was two years from completing her MD, and was in the medical profession as an ER nurse for about twenty years at the time of the first exchange.
And I actually did consider Blonde to be smart and clever until this exchange. Afterwards struggled not to think of any blond of either gender as stupid until I eventually did meet a smart (natural) blonde.
Spoiler:
**I would later learn that someone’s mother was a man, he was adopted by an openly gay [pair]. And that it was ignorant for me to have asked in this context.
The hilarious part is that at two of the three schools where we were both enrolled at the same time this exchange has repeated itself many times. In later repeats of this exchange It became clear that the only answer she would accept was "a Woman" and would not recognise any other response.

At the last school I attended I had to apologize for laughing and promised to explain it to the librarian later.
I should go do that now that I think of it. I still have to laugh when ever this riddle is posed, and my favorite libarian thought that I was laughing at her trying to figure it out.



EDIT: Whe the hiello IS COopUPLE sensored?
Last edited by Snow_Cat on Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:30 pm, edited 3 times in total.

User avatar
weaponepsilon
Posts: 1090
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 12:04 am

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by weaponepsilon » Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:20 pm

Snow_Cat wrote:Well, a whole lot of stuff.
What I find hilarious is that you guessed correctly and the girl was so flustered about her perceived sexist observation, that she herself became sexist by defining your correct guess as sexist.
http://www.xboxlc.com/profile/weapon_epsilon
Image
Trade thread!
http://forums.benheck.com/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=24425" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Currently owned: (In response to Tibia)

52 platforms; 67 individual systems; 919 singular games (0 doubles!); 2 arcade cabs

Snow_Cat
Posts: 463
Joined: Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:40 pm
Steam ID: Snow_Cat
Location: Here
Contact:

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by Snow_Cat » Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:26 pm

It was more that she was listening for the key phrase "A Woman" and ignored all those answers that meant that.

Also she was the stupid blonde that has ruined being blond for all people.

edit: well more accurately, made blond people less attractive to me.

User avatar
kibble
Posts: 439
Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2009 10:41 am

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by kibble » Thu Apr 21, 2011 9:56 am

Snow_Cat wrote:It was more that she was listening for the key phrase "A Woman" and ignored all those answers that meant that.

Also she was the stupid blonde that has ruined being blond for all people.

edit: well more accurately, made blond people less attractive to me.
Tell that girl that I said she's a dumb@$$. You could have easily replaced the "boy and man" taken to the hospital to a "boy and woman" taken to the hospital and then what would have the answer been? "A man"? It could have been any man but it wouldn't make sense unless it was the boys FATHER. So just making the answer be "a woman" makes as much sense as asking someone what breed of dog they have and them saying "a pet". ಠ_ಠ
Coming Soon: Kibble's L'Ectroshop (parts and stuff FS)

Snow_Cat
Posts: 463
Joined: Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:40 pm
Steam ID: Snow_Cat
Location: Here
Contact:

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by Snow_Cat » Thu Apr 21, 2011 4:38 pm

The use of the possessive "his" implies familiarity; but it isn't a very clear way of stating the fact as it could imply that the boy was a pet/slave or that the man was his legal guardian (other than father).

In any case, this was some time ago, and I would like to think that since we both graduated from the same schools that she isn't quite that dumb now.

edit: And most riddles are only riddles because they are obtuse in their presentation.

User avatar
cennar
Senior Member
Posts: 2939
Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 7:57 am
Location: yesterdays brothel, and todays vaccume store
Contact:

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by cennar » Thu Apr 21, 2011 6:12 pm

Since you both graduated? alright lets look at some thing here. I'm pretty smart (IQ around 140ish) I've not graduated high school. I could not care. most of my friends who have graduated on time or (the best ones) early are doing about the same as any one else. Dumb Fux graduate from schools all over the world all the time. George bush was at Harvard, and Yale, to me that means both schools suck. (unless you like to apply a financial transaction to the equation.

If i where you I would have just noticed a few things. (Your a man pig whos going to lose the riddle right away you know that right) then walk away shaking my head if that doesn't work pull a crack walk. that should make you better friends (the kind with a sense of friggen awesome...)
Image

markus
Posts: 130
Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 7:29 pm
PSN Username: ikramtuht

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by markus » Thu Apr 21, 2011 10:17 pm

Well, continuing the non-hacker convo thing, some kid at lunch was like "so, did you just glue that iTouch screen in your portable then?" or "where do you put in the batteries and how many does it take? :wtf: I hate people...
Markus

User avatar
themadhacker
Senior Member
Posts: 2670
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:53 pm
Location: ohio

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by themadhacker » Fri Apr 22, 2011 10:24 am

my god, how can this topic still be alive?
rest in peace, Ronnie James Dio! \m/

User avatar
bentendo64
Posts: 163
Joined: Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:22 pm
Location: Tinysota

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by bentendo64 » Fri Apr 22, 2011 10:50 am

I dont know, but its and awesome topic! :lol:
http://bentendo64.co.cc/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
"Mmm, extra performance for free. The essence of overclocking."

User avatar
cennar
Senior Member
Posts: 2939
Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 7:57 am
Location: yesterdays brothel, and todays vaccume store
Contact:

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by cennar » Fri Apr 22, 2011 11:46 am

I keep getting asked if I make Ipod apps, appon seeing the LSD25 and the cartoons coming out of it... yeah if your looking theres an aussy with some coin to through down for some seriously basic Apps he wants made!! I still don't see it but I guess there thinking "Oh gee golly mr you did that all your self! can you make my Ipod shot lazers and make video games at the touch of a button."

and I'm like "ok it's not a... Oh yeah sure this is the latest and best Ipad, got it first when it came out" I'm trying to hide the electrical tape "You can sure give me some of that pro snowboarder money from down under!!"


Seriously if ANY one wants to build an App be sure to get connected to me I'll GIVE you the hook up, I think I see the guy like once or twice a week wile I'm working and I don't think he gets I'm not about making Ipod any thing apps.
Image

User avatar
Basement_Modder
Portablizer
Posts: 962
Joined: Sun Aug 24, 2008 7:16 am
Location: Next door to my neighbor
Contact:

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by Basement_Modder » Fri Apr 22, 2011 4:28 pm

Since its already been bumped...
ShockSlayer wrote:I remember something about someone saying it was possible to fit an n64 into an original GB.

SS
You owe somebody an apology... :P
Cheers,
Basement_Modder
_________________

User avatar
budnespid
Posts: 388
Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2010 9:44 pm
Location: South, Deep Deep down South

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by budnespid » Fri Apr 22, 2011 5:03 pm

Hasn't been done yet. :P

Haunted360
Posts: 1000
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 12:22 am
PSN Username: Haunted360
360 GamerTag: Haunted 360
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by Haunted360 » Fri Apr 22, 2011 7:02 pm

Cousin: I want to install Windows Vista ( :shock: ) on my friends laptop, but the Hard Drive is missing. Can I install it to a CD?
Me: Well uh, no. You need to have a Hard Drive.
Cousin: Oh ok then. Well i'll plug mine in through the USB port.
Me: Does the laptop BIOS support USB booting?
Cousin: Im pretty sure. It is an Intel Centrino so its pretty top.
Me: Nah man, the Centrinos are old now. Tell you what, open the Hard Drive case and plug it into the laptop internally.
Cousin: No. You cant do that. This is what a Hard Drive looks like. This is a Hard Drive. Once you open it, it will break.
Me: Dude, this is the case for the Hard Drive...
Cousin: Are you sure?
Me: Yea. Look. See those screws?
Cousin: Yes. Thats to hold the Hard Drives Computer in place.
Me: :wtf:
Me: Look just give me it (so I open it - bla bla bla and install it)
Cousin: Oh ok. So now will it work?
Me: No. You need to install Windows still. And you better put Windows 7 or better yet, Windows XP.
Cousin: But Vista is the best. I have been using it for nearly 4 months now.
Me: Well obviously you haven't been REALLY using it properly.
Cousin: Well do what you need to do. Here is the disc I downloaded.
Me: Did you get it from a torrent site????
Cousin: Yea. Well sort of. It was a website with a whole bunch of icons to click so I clicked on Windows Vista and the download started. It said boot disc, so thats 100% right im sure.
Me: Well the boot disc could just be the disc to repair your current installation or format.
Cousin: Well the format is Windows Vista so it will work.
Me: Uh huh. Yea this will work :shock:
Cousin: It will. It said boot disc on it.
Me: I know that but it could just be to boot into some settings. Not to install the OS.
Cousin: Well where can I get the disc from?
Me: It comes with the laptop. Ask the friend you got it off for it. But I have Windows XP if you want it...
Cousin: No. I need to put Vista on it.
Me: Alright. Well ask him for the disc then and install it. Make sure you also install the correct drivers.
Cousin: What are they for?
Me: To get onto the wireless and make sure everything inside the laptop is 'happy' with each other. lol.
Cousin: Oh ok. I'll do that later today then.

...

Cousin rang me a few days later

...

Cousin: I cant get onto the wireless.
Me: Just plug it into manually to the back of the modem for now because I got to go

User avatar
nightwheel
Senior Member
Posts: 2017
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2007 11:49 am
PSN Username: nightwheel
360 GamerTag: nightwheel94
Steam ID: nightwheel
Location: Kentucky, We are KFC
Contact:

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by nightwheel » Fri Apr 22, 2011 9:14 pm

I've had people in my computer class. Trying to prove the point that the N64, GameCube, and the Wii share the same CPU and GPU.

Either they are trying to be butts, which is possible. Or they really don't know what they are talking about.

...
....
....

Another time, there was a kid that goes to the church I go to. (He's also is part of the Boy Scout troop I volunteer in.) Trying to offer me his two Nintendo DSi's, one of which was a XL. In trade for my new Nintendo 3DS. Which lets be honest, is a fairly decent offer for a 3DS.

But it wasn't that what I found crazy. He then proceeded to tell me that he (or more like his dad) payed over $300 for a Mario 25th anniversary edition DSi XL from ebay or something.

I was like " What?!!!? You go to be kidding me?". He then proceeded to tell me he wasn't joking. And then I told him that the Mario edition didn't sell for any more than the original DSi XL when it came out.

It got stranger, I then asked his dad a little later about what his son said about the DSi XL. He didn't even deny it, but he didn't confirm it either. After talking about this for a minute or two with him. I said if this really happened, never deal with that person again. Because that person was obviously was running some sort of scam or was being very dishonest.
Image

Who knows if the Namco Portable will ever become a reality? :P

User avatar
bentendo64
Posts: 163
Joined: Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:22 pm
Location: Tinysota

Re: what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

Post by bentendo64 » Sat Apr 23, 2011 4:55 pm

So this isn't really anything modding-related, but I made a comment to a friend on how there were different tires on the front and back of his dads Toyota Camery (1992?).

He then told me that the ones on front were snow tires (what I had guessed), and said, "yeah, they're super good tires, you'll like floor it, and they wont even spin".
Then, a while later in the conversation, he said, "Hey, I should just peel out a here when I leave! like (makes a tire-squeeling sounding noise)".
So then I said, "I thought you said you cant even spin the tires in that car...."
Him, "naahhh, this thing has enough power" (in an intense-ish voice).
Me: ........
http://bentendo64.co.cc/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
"Mmm, extra performance for free. The essence of overclocking."

Post Reply