what's the dumbest thing a non-hacker has said to you?

[jleemero]

There's some people who use vacuums to cool their computers.

I'm assuming you mean a negative pressure cooling system.

It's not like they're in there with a vacuum cleaner duct taped to the processor's heat spreader.

My computer uses a negative pressure cooling... Well, I don't even think "system" is the right term here.
Basically, the airflow out of the case is greater than the airflow into the case, creating an extremely slight vacuum.
BAM, negative pressure.

[Kurt_]

Or you could just tape a vacuum to your computer.

[eagle5953]

From when I worked at Wal-Mart:

'Where are your mousepads?'
'They're right over here - we have pads with dogs, cats, and this tropical one...'
'Which will be compatible with my mouse?

LOL!

[robm]

I hear all sorts of fun things selling auto parts.

Me: Thank you for calling blablabla
Them: Yeah, I need a (insert random part here) for my 1993 Whatever.
Me: OK, what size engine do you have?
Them: How the f*** should I know, you're the professional!
Me: Ah, yes, but there are two different options for that vehicle.
Them: No there aren't!
Me: *face palm*

Another one of my favorites:
Me: Ok, what you need to do is use Firefox instead of Internet Explorer, which you ..
Them: (Interrupting) But then how could I access the Internet?!
Me: Firefox is like the same thing as Internet Explorer, but a little ...
Them: (Interrupting) So it's a different kind of Internet?
Me: (Excercising great patience) Noo, programs like Firefox and Internet Explorer ACCESS the Internet, they
are not by themselves the Internet.
Them: That doesn't make any sense. Why is it called Internet Explorer, then?
Me: *face palm*

[bicostp]

Hi, um, I need a water pump for a '63 Corvair...

[Kurt_]

Ugh. Some people. Makes you want to dump THEM in the middle of the ocean, doesn't it?

Reminds me of a season 3 Whitest Kids U Know sketch, it was quite hilarious.

It's not on the internet yet, but you can download a torrent of it.

Season 3 Episode 1. Check it out. (Aliens abduct all the smart people.)

[jleemero]

Hi, um, I need a water pump for a '63 Corvair...

Oh good lord...
I've heard the same for an old Volkswagen Beetle.

[Triton]

or trying to buy ANYTHING volvo in a US parts store

[Arrow-->]

who DO you hang out with?

STUPID PEOPLEZ!

well, some of them are. the kid with the crashed computer is actually an honor student. The funny thing is he thinks that because of his grades he knows everything. apparently not. My friend with the cell phone...well, I don't know exactly what he was thinking.

And I mean no offense to Arrow---> or EvenWorse, because you guys are not stupid and I hang out with you.

1=>an honor student at your school at worth much (no offense my school's only a little better)
2=>you've known me for nine years and say i'm not stupid? i've gots to try harder

An fifth grader who rides my bus and me, i was talking about halo 3 to some else earlier
kid:where can i find halo 3 for wii?
me:
kid:where can i find halo 3 for wii?
me:you can't, go away
kid:can to!! my friend told me
me:your friend is an ass
kid your an ass, also my cousin says he has it
me:halo is made by microsoft while the wii is from nintendo
kid:not halo 3, but i don't know where to buy it
me:have you ever played halo 1, 2, or 3?
kid:once
smarter kid:black market
kid:is that by walmart?
me:ask your parents
kid:ok

on days like that i miss not going to public schools
not exactly hacking but still

[themadhacker]

on days like that i miss not going to public schools

you do go to a public school

[Arrow-->]

i meant private

[themadhacker]

why would you miss it lol we went to a private school together for 8 years.

[Arrow-->]

stupid people at WB

[nitro2k01]

From when I worked at Wal-Mart:

'Where are your mousepads?'
'They're right over here - we have pads with dogs, cats, and this tropical one...'
'Which will be compatible with my mouse?

LOL!

Not a completely stupid question. Surfaces without enough texture will make optical mice lose track all the time. While the rough surface on most mousepads (which was designed to make the balls grip on ball mice) coincidentally works great as a tracking surface, that customer's precaution wasn't stupid.

[Life of Brian]

I get more dumb comments through my YouTube videos than anywhere else. Don't get me wrong though - there are some folks who show a lot of interest and leave some fantastic comments or questions. But the ratio of retarded to intelligent comments is astounding. I think I'm going to go research some of the comments and private messages I've received, but one I can think of off the top of my head is "hay can you mack on for me". I guess he was asking me to make a portable for him... or perhaps he was turned on by my sensuous voice