Best Way to DESTROY an iPod

[nightwheel]

The only problem I see with the lawnmower is that the blade sits higher than the chassis, and is too high...

Oh don't worrie. The lawnmower would be able to pick the iPod up and spit it out in pieces. You just got to lower the deck as low as it can go.

[johnbjuice]

(Be careful while attempting any of the following. In fact, don't do them! AND DON'T SUE ME!)

Crack the battery open, pour it on the pod, then light it ablaze.

Disassemble the pod and then smash each piece individually.

Metal spike.

Spoon. Why? I like spoons.

See how many times you can throw it at a wall before it breaks. Then burn it.

Frisbee.

Throw it at your friends.

See how high you can toss it, then run when it comes down (would make a cool splatter effect!)

See how high you can hurl it using a sling/catapult/device as above.

Do one of the two above AND light it on fire.

Use a drill on the screen. Or a dremel.

Tie it to a string and spin it around your head. Whoops, you let go...

Can you fold the outer casing in half?

Can you do it again?

Electrocution.

Oven.

Microwave.

Microwave oven.

Eat it. (DON'T DO THIS ONE I WAS JUST KIDDING!)

- Juice

PS: I didn't ask for you to give it to me, even though I REEEEEEAALLY wanted to.

[Adam G]

I like Juice's ideas, but how about...

THERMITE!

[Skyone]

You gotta make it a really cool explosion or a long-lasting gratifying effect. My vote is for thermite as Adam suggested. Open up the iPod and ease some thermite in there, fun a fuse out of it.

Regardless, I still think that there are better uses for an iPod, but for every man his own.

[Ecksem Diem]

I'm likin' thermite.

Now, destroying the evil machines is all well and good, but what of their users? I speak specifically of the "music lovers" who own an iPod because they love music so much, and because they love their music so much, they listen to low quality versions of it (92 kbps, because you can get more music on it if the bitrate is really, really low!) via a low quality sound format (mp3) through a device that has an absolute crap bass response and through POS earbuds that ship with said device, earbuds which eradicate what little bass response remains following the low frequencies' genocide at the hands of the device's headphone jack, as well as accentuating the thrashing treble which bleeds through to annoy others at any volume above, oh, let's call it, you know, just a ballpark figure here, let's say... A sixth of a freaking decibel. Would discussing the maiming/killing of said people be subject to the "nothing illegal" rule? I mean, as long as we're not talking about actually doing it.

As far as obliterating the unholy device itself, I have a bit of a thing for freezing things I want to destroy. You could a) turn your freezer's temperature way down, freeze it for a day, and then simply smash it with a hammer; b) bring it before the god of ice, Sub-Zero, and chuck it at him so you can enjoy the spectacle that is his freezing it in mid-air and its subsequent shattering upon the wall behind him; or c) freeze it, hammer some long nails through it (so that they stick out through the other side), and chuck it through the glass cube that leads down to the Apple Store on Fifth Avenue in New York City.

That ice stuff, that's uh... That's all I got. Whatever you do, destroy it good.

Destroy it really good.

[Dr. KillGood]

WAIT WAIT! I KNOW!

Throw it in to the toilet, then take a HUGE dump on it!

[Ecksem Diem]

WAIT WAIT! I KNOW!

Throw it in to the toilet, then take a HUGE dump on it!

[Kyo]

this thread is stupid. You know by destroying it, you're actually doing apple good. Because a person has to buy a new ipod now, because they can't have yours, therefore apple earns more money. Also, destroying a perfectly fine piece of electronics is just retarded.

[Ecksem Diem]

Like he said, he doesn't have any particular vendetta against Apple, just the device itself as a result of its popularity in the face of its underfunctionality and overpricing. His destroying it is symbolic, not a calculated revenge tactic designed to disrupt the shares of Apple Inc.

[limpport]

I like Juice's ideas, but how about...

THERMITE!

www.unitednuclear.com, best place to get ingredents.

I was thinking to try and hit Bill Gates with it using a waterballoon slingshot. Or just the slingshot by itself...

[Harshboy]

The best way to destroy an iPod is to give it to me and then I will run off with it.

Yep, best way.

[Kurt_]

I've never had much luck with soldering to Lithium Ion Battery tabs. As you near the bottom or the tab (which for me oxidizes away until I'm left with a stub before I give up), the thing starts to spark, which is where I stop for good and get paranoid about the thing shorting inside. So I go outside...

I've ignited Lipos before by cutting them with pliers and keeping my distance. One I ignited with an exacto knife (At the tabs, of course).

Long story short, drive a stake through the heart of the beast [The battery] (a METAL stake, if you know what I mean ) and it will blow up. Not having been taken apart, it will BLOW UP. Flames and flying screens ensue.

Of course, you can start with other things like magnet + screen or beat it with one of you favourite items of choice. If it's one of those thin kinds, bend it with your thumbs to show off its ease of destruction. I'm positive I could if I tried.

The Begging Part:

I'm low on cash and have been looking for a cheap mp3 player. I'm not a fan of Apple, but for $30, I'd buy one. *cough*

[Valium]

Put Rockbox on it so that its worth using.

[CronoTriggerfan]

Okay, here's the deal. For everyone who's complaining about me breaking a "perfectly good device" (which, by the way, it is not; it's an iPod for crying out loud!), you can save this thing's life. I'll give this iPod to Toys for Teens, or sell it and donate the money to a children's charity somewhere, probably Child's Play; however, Ecksem Diem put it perfectly when he said this was a symbol, and even moreso, a representation of my own personal guilt for buying an iPod, which I swore on my own grave I would never do. So no matter what, an iPod of some kind WILL be smashed.

Anyways, if anyone has a broken or nonfunctioning iPod of any sort, if you donate it to me and can have it here before this Friday, I'll send you the Omega I posted about earlier in this thread. So you'd be trading a busted, crappy device for a great PMP, helping charity, and, if you're an iPod fan, saving this Nano. As Michael Scott would say, it's a win-win-win situation.

So whiners, here's your chance. Post here or PM me about it; otherwise, please, shut the bjork up!

CTFan

[Triton]

Ecksem Diem put it perfectly when he said this was a symbol, and even moreso, a representation of my own personal guilt for buying an iPod, which I swore on my own grave I would never do. So no matter what, an iPod of some kind WILL be smashed.

then smash your freaking touch you goddamn hypocrite! and ecksem diem is making a mass of broad generalizations, sure the ipod is nothing fantastic (i agree 100% at it being overpriced. of medicore quality and hating apples business practice) but that doesnt mean that every single person who uses an ipod is a corporate whore and listens to crap music at low qualities, i bought a used 4th gen ipod for 50$ and used it till the hdd died, i usually used pioneer se505 headphones with it and if i had my sennheisers at the time i would have used those instead, i dont have any mp3s that are less than about 256kbps bitrate, its not audiophile quality but im not an audiophile, i dont care about super uber mega high quality sound