Favourite lyrics

Want to just shoot the breeze? Forum 42 is the place!

Moderator: Moderators

User avatar
timmeh87
Senior Member
Posts: 3047
Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2005 10:19 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

Post by timmeh87 » Sun May 28, 2006 7:49 pm

Tool - vicarious wrote:
I own the TV (alternately "Eye on the TV")
cause tragedy thrills me
whatever flavour it happens to be.
like about a husband, drowned by the ocean,
shot by his own son,
she used a poison in his tea
and kissed him goodnight
thats my kinda story
its no fun till someone dies

Dont look at me like
I am a monster
frown out your one face, but with the other
Stare like a junkie
into the tv
stare like a zombie
while the mother holds her child
and watch as he dies
hands to the sky crying "why oh why"

Cause I need to watch things die
from a distance..
Vicariously I live while the while world dies.
You all feel the same dont lie.
Offspring - Bad Habit wrote: Hey man you know Im really okay
The gun in my hand will tell you the same
But when Im in my car
Dont give me no crap
Cause the slightest thing and I just might snap
Hey

When I go driving I stay in my lane
But getting cut off makes me insane
I open the glove box
Reach inside
I gonna wreck this f***ers ride

Chorus:
I guess I got a bad habit
Of blowin away
Yeah I got a bad habit
And it aint goin away
Yeah

Well they say the roads a dangerous place
If you flip me off Im the danger youll face
You drive on my ass
Your foots on the gas
And your next breath is your last

-chorus-

Drivers are rude
Such attitudes
But when I show my piece
Complaints cease
Somethings odd
I feel like Im god
You stupid dumbs*** goddamn motherf*****

I open the glove box
Reach inside
Im gonna wreck this f***ers ride

-chorus-
Image

"Linux is only free if your time is worthless"

User avatar
Extreme_Jesus
Posts: 1293
Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2005 12:04 pm
Location: Old Hampshire, none of that New hampshire stuff....

Post by Extreme_Jesus » Mon May 29, 2006 4:35 am

Megadeth wrote:What do you mean, "I don't believe in God"?
I talk to him every day.
What do you mean, "I don't support your system"?
I go to court when I have to.
What do you mean, "I can't get to work on time"?
I got nothing better to do
And, what do you mean, "I don't pay my bills"?
Why do you think I'm broke? Huh?

[Chorus:]
If there's a new way,
I'll be the first in line.
But, it better work this time.

What do you mean, "I hurt your feelings"?
I didn't know you had any feelings.
What do you mean, "I ain't kind"?
I'm just not your kind.
What do you mean, "I couldn't be president, of the United States of America"?
Tell me something, it's still "We the people", right?

[Chorus: (repeat)]
If there's a new way
I'll be the first in line,
But, it better work this time.

Can you put a price on peace?
Peace,
Peace sells...,
Peace,
Peace sells...,
Peace sells...,but who's buying?
Peace sells...,but who's buying?
Peace sells...,but who's buying?
Peace sells...,but who's buying?

No, peace sells...
Some classic megadeth for you there

User avatar
joevennix
Portablizer
Posts: 999
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 9:34 am
Location: On permanent vacation from reality.
Contact:

Post by joevennix » Mon May 29, 2006 11:42 am

Pink Floyd wrote:Above the planet on a wing and a prayer,
My grubby halo, a vapour trail in the empty air,
across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night

There's no sensation to compare with this
Suspended animation, A state of bliss
Can't keep my mind from the circling sky
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earthbound misfit, I
Learning to Fly by PF
Image

User avatar
limpport
Senior Member
Posts: 1873
Joined: Sun Jan 29, 2006 12:32 pm
Location: (the only person here from) Vermont
Contact:

Post by limpport » Mon May 29, 2006 6:04 pm

Weird Al wrote:Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy

Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast

Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single mornin'
It was driving me crazy

I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel

Wacka wacka doodoo yeah

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ahhhh

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean

Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door

Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything

So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a farmiliar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said

It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "You got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"NO, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"

So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .

Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseperable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude

OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So I did

And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing antic joke
This guy comes up to me on the street and he tells me he hasn't had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought

Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy old mixed-up universe of ours
There's still a little place called

Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque

I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque

(belch)
This was a pain in the butt to type out. That's why they invented copy/paste!

User avatar
Nick
Posts: 320
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:12 pm
Location: ....I forgot.

Post by Nick » Mon May 29, 2006 6:29 pm

I live in New Mexico, so I had to download that
song when I saw it on Itunes.
Refusing to change my avatar since like freakin 2007.

User avatar
Skyone
Moderator
Posts: 6390
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2005 8:35 pm
Location: it is a mystery
Contact:

Post by Skyone » Mon May 29, 2006 6:32 pm

You guys like Wierd Al too much. ;)

User avatar
Nick
Posts: 320
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:12 pm
Location: ....I forgot.

Post by Nick » Mon May 29, 2006 6:49 pm

What's wrong with that?
Refusing to change my avatar since like freakin 2007.

User avatar
Extreme_Jesus
Posts: 1293
Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2005 12:04 pm
Location: Old Hampshire, none of that New hampshire stuff....

Post by Extreme_Jesus » Tue May 30, 2006 6:33 am

i love Albuquerque but its a bit of a marathon song, 11 minutes long..... :lol:

just about that time a little ditty started going through my head....

User avatar
Sir Games-A-Lot
Posts: 710
Joined: Thu Apr 07, 2005 7:25 am
Location: Sitting around a table wishing the king would get IBM Consultants

Post by Sir Games-A-Lot » Tue May 30, 2006 11:48 am

It's The end of the world as we know it!


Pardon my ignoramus-ness but I still can't figure what the heck it's all about, sounds like cold war stuff, oh well it's sure fun to sing along to if I can keep up 8).


and not to be out Al-ed

2000" O' HD baby!
Everybody in the town
Can hear those 90,000 watts of Dolby sound
And I'm mighty proud to say
Now I can watch "The Simpsons" from thirty blocks away
On Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV)
Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)
Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV)



I love that song because it describes the stereotypical (no pun intened :wink:) obsessive home-theater owner so very well :lol:.


EDIT:What the heck was that song called 'bout aliens (as in flying saucer type not boarder running type) stealing some dude's car, I love that one but I can never find the lyrics or title.
<a href="http://www.nerdtests.com/ft_cg.php?im">
<img src="http://www.nerdtests.com/images/ft/cg.php?val=5780" alt="My computer geek score is greater than 83% of all people in the world! How do you compare? Click here to find out!"> </a>

User avatar
MaDnEsS
Portablizer
Posts: 980
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 9:33 pm
Location: rochester MN
Contact:

Post by MaDnEsS » Tue May 30, 2006 12:37 pm

i just want you ozzy osbourne
There are no unlockable doors
There are no unwinnable wars
There are no unrightable wrongs
Or unsingable songs

There are no unbeatable odds
There are no believable gods
There are no unnameable names
Shall I say it again, yeah

There are no impossible dreams
There are no invisible seams
Each night when the day is through
I don't ask much

I just want you
I just want you

There are no uncriminal crimes
There are no unrhymable rhymes
There are no identical twins or
forgivable sins

There are no incurable ills
There are no unkillable thrills
One thing and you know it's true,
I don't ask much

I just want you
I just want you
I just want you
I just want you

I'm sick and tired of bein' sick and tired
I used to go to bed so high and wired, yeah - yeah, yeah, yeah
I think I'll buy myself some plastic water
I guess I should have married Lennon's daughter, yeah - yeah, yeah, yeah

There are no unachievable goals
There are no unsaveable souls
No legitimate kings or queens, do
you know what I mean? Yeah

There are no indisputable truths
And there ain't no fountain of youth
Each night when the day is through,
I don't ask much

I just want you
I just want you
I just want you
I just want you
I just want you
I just want you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I just want you
I just want you,
Hey, yeah
I just want you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I just want you, hey
I just want you
I just want you

killer of giants ozzy
If none of us believe in war
Then can you tell me what the weapon’s for
Listen to me everyone
If the button is pushed
There’ll be nowhere to run

Giants sleeping giants winning wars
Within their dreams
Till they wake when it’s too late
And in god’s name blaspheme

Killer of giants threatens us all
Mountains of madness standing so tall
Marches of protest not stopping the war
Or the killer of giants
The killer of giants

Mother nature people state your case without it’s worth
Your seas run dry your sleepless eyes are turning red alert

Killer of giants threatens us all
Mountains of madness standing so tall
Rising so proudly it has nowhere to fall
This killer of giants
This killer of giants

Killer of giants threatens us all
Mountains of madness standing so tall
Marches of protest not stopping the war
Oh the killer of giants
Oh the killer of giants
Killer of giants
Killer of giants

User avatar
blackbox_dev
Senior Member
Posts: 1906
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 5:19 pm
Location: Formerly known as iam7805

Post by blackbox_dev » Tue May 30, 2006 3:30 pm

Speaking of Ozzy, the lyrics for Paranoid are pretty good.
I'd imagine right now you wish you were a cuttlefish...

User avatar
gamemasterAS
Senior Member
Posts: 3309
Joined: Thu Nov 24, 2005 10:30 pm
Steam ID: lolz1337face
Location: Ohio
Contact:

Post by gamemasterAS » Tue May 30, 2006 6:56 pm

EDIT: DANGIT YOU GUUYS BEATME TO BOTH NOW THAT I LOOK AROUND. :cry: :cry: :cry:

I love this song i have used to have it memorized.
WEIRD AL YANKOVIC LYRICS

"Albuquerque"

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy

Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast

Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single mornin
It was driving me crazy

I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will glady shave your back for a nickel

Wacka wacka doodoo yeah

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ahhhh

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean

Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door

Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything

So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a farmiliar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said

It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"No, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"

So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .

Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseperable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude

OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So I did

And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bit in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought

Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I hate sauerkraut

That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours
There's still a little place called

Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque

I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque
And of course some pink floyd.
Daddys gone across the ocean,
Leaving just a memory,
A snapshot in the family album.
Daddy, what else did you leave for me?
Daddy, whatcha leave behind for me?
All in all it was just a brick in the wall.
All in all it was just the bricks in the wall

We dont need no education.
We dont need no thought control.
No dark sarcasm in the classroom.
Teacher, leave those kids alone.
Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!
All in all its just another brick in the wall.
All in all youre just another brick in the wall.

We dont need no education.
We dont need no thought control.
No dark sarcasm in the classroom.
Teachers, leave those kids alone.
Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!
All in all youre just another brick in the wall.
All in all youre just another brick in the wall.

I dont need no walls around me.
And I dont need no drugs to calm me.
I have seen the writing on the wall.
Dont think I need any thing at all.
No. dont think I need anything at all.
All in all it was all just the bricks in the wall.
All in all it was all just the bricks in the wall.
Those are some good ones. :D
.

User avatar
CronoTriggerfan
Moderator
Posts: 4131
Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2006 3:07 pm
Location: University of Michigan - Ann Arbor
Contact:

Post by CronoTriggerfan » Tue May 30, 2006 7:10 pm

Extreme_Jesus wrote:ive got too many to list, but one of my all time fav's is
You're using a 286? dont make laugh
your windows boots up in what a day and a half?
you could could back your whole hard drive on a floppy disk yeah
you're the biggest joke on the internet
thats weird al yankovic
What song is that? I like Weird Al, but I've not heard that one.

CTFan
Image

User avatar
PancakeGoblin
Posts: 121
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2006 6:43 am
Location: Behind You!!
Contact:

Post by PancakeGoblin » Tue May 30, 2006 7:13 pm

Oasis - The Masterplan
Take the time to make some sense
Of what you want to say
And cast your words away upon the waves
Bring them back with Acquiesce
On a ship of hope today
And as they fall upon the shore
Tell them not to fear no more
Say it loud and sing it proud
And they...

Will dance if they want to dance
Please brother take a chance
You know they're gonna go
Which way they wanna go
All we know is that we don't know
What is gonna be
Please brother let it be
Life on the other hand won't let you understand
Why we're all part of the masterplan

I'm not saying right is wrong
It's up to us to make
The best of all things that come our way
And all the things that came have past
The answer's in the looking glass
There's four and twenty million doors
Down life's endless corridor
Say it loud and sing it proud
And they...

Will dance if they want to dance
Please brother take a chance
You know they're gonna go
Which way they wanna go
All we know is that we don't know
What is gonna be
Please brother let it be
Life on the other hand won't let you understand
Why we're all part of the masterplan
The Beatles - A Day In The Life
I read the news today oh, boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, i just had to laugh
I saw the photograph
He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure if he was from the house of lords

I saw a film today oh, boy
The english army had just won the war
A crowd of people turned away
But i just had to look
Having read the book
I love to turn you on.

Woke up, got out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up, i noticed i was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
Somebody spoke and i went into a dream
Ah

I read the news today oh, boy
Four thousand holes in blackburn, lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the albert hall
I'd love to turn you on
Image
Yes, I'm Jeff. There you have it.

User avatar
Sir Games-A-Lot
Posts: 710
Joined: Thu Apr 07, 2005 7:25 am
Location: Sitting around a table wishing the king would get IBM Consultants

Post by Sir Games-A-Lot » Tue May 30, 2006 7:19 pm

CronoTriggerfan wrote:
Extreme_Jesus wrote:ive got too many to list, but one of my all time fav's is
You're using a 286? dont make laugh
your windows boots up in what a day and a half?
you could could back your whole hard drive on a floppy disk yeah
you're the biggest joke on the internet
thats weird al yankovic
What song is that? I like Weird Al, but I've not heard that one.

CTFan


It's All About The Pentiums!
<a href="http://www.nerdtests.com/ft_cg.php?im">
<img src="http://www.nerdtests.com/images/ft/cg.php?val=5780" alt="My computer geek score is greater than 83% of all people in the world! How do you compare? Click here to find out!"> </a>

Post Reply